jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
