Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
