at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
