Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
party gras won. party gras always wins.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
