I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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