I love black thongs
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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