i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
