brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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