Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize