who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
