He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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