I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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