you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
