Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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