Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
is wine microwaveable?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Randomize