So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We need a shit load of segways right now
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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