I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dicks are not precious.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
