just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
