after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
