yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
