I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize