for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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