I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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