hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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