i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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