I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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