Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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