This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
