It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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