I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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