the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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