Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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