I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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