All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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