My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
