Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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