I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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