She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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