My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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