it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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