Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
