How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
