i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
