Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
BRING THE BAGELS
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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