I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
