So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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