Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
