Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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