listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
