nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
