can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have post one night stand depression
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
