quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
