So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
