Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
