Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
