My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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