yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
