If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need to wash the frat house off of me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
