so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
