Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
