dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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