i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
