I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
