you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
3 2 1 whiskey
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
